Due Dates... I feel like it's a bill or deadline.
Who came up with this idea? Term? Everyone asks, when are you due? I'm so guilty of that. And in light of recent realizations, that puts a lot of pressure on the mama to perform. Like it's a show. While medical professionals call it "Estimated Due Date" they don't typically behave like it's an estimate.
If baby isn't here by the EDD, then often times there's a let down.
Some medical professionals don't encourage waiting for the natural unfolding to take place (up to 42 weeks of gestation). And they don't for several reasons, worrying about size of baby, stress on organs, emotional state of the mother. Again, mama might very well be uncomfortable, have other children to take care of, working, sick, or just OVER pregnancy. I feel like it's a culture that has been procured over the decades.
Do we support women? Like, take care of them, nurture them, love on them? Or are they left to their own devices because everyone else is too busy, or not genuine?
Pregnancy takes how long it takes for the baby to be birthed, I'm not saying that there isn't need or necessity for alternative methods, most have a place. But it's often when the woman isn't supported how she needs or desired, that the language moves into impatience and lack of trust in her body.
So what can we do? Lots of things:
- Give massages - foot, shoulders, belly, hands, back
- Hold a mother's blessing
- Keep pantry & fridge stocked and easily made
- Take her out - for a walk, out for coffee, pub, park, or just for a drive
- Take her kids to the park, leave her at home
- Let her nap or sleep
- Go with her to appointments
- Assure her, encourage her to trust her body
It's hard being pregnant. We don't all feel like a glowing goddess... even at the best of times.
You want to help? Do one of the things above. She needs to FEEL the love and support. Convince her of that.
xx
Erika The Doula