Is brutal honesty best?

This is something I grew up thinking was best. I prided myself in being cold hard truth, after all, life is unfair, unjust, and gives no shits. But does that feel good? Is your message being heard?

 Define brutal:

~ Suitable to one who lacks intelligence, sensitivity, or compassion: befitting a brute: such as
          a: grossly ruthless or unfeeling  b: cruel, cold-blooded  c: harsh, severe  d: unpleasantly accurate and incisive  e: very bad or unpleasant

Define honest:

~ Fairness and straightforwardness of conduct:
          a: adherence to the facts : sincerity

My new idea

I find that when someone says 'brutally honest' you need to be prepared to have some shit thrown at you. When it's not necessary.

I don't know the point of honesty if it's not honest, but to give it more edge you need to be brutal. If it's brutal, is your message being conveyed?

I find that in life, you do you part, you can't make or do anything for the other person to be ready for what you're going to say, so just say it. Love the person you are sharing your thoughts, it doesn't mean to be mushy and sweet. Just love them. If they are ready, they will hear you.

I hear you. I see you. I love you.

xx

Lost myself in motherhood

So many women lose ourselves in motherhood. Enter in: The Rolling Fog. The transition of fading away from yourself, interests, passion right before your eyes.

At some point we all come to this crossroad and realize we've faded, lost our brightness, our will to fight for ourselves. Do you remember who you are? Your favourite tv show, hobbies, when you last got out for fresh air?

Motherhood is a constant onward push of: bum changes, feeding, sleepless nights, baby feedings, babysitting, and baby drop offs. We are the master comforter and doer of all. This is taxing. It drains us of compassion, emotion, connection, and stimulation.

When I was pregnant, I was so focused on preparing for Shoshanna that I neglected how to navigate this transition, and the capacity on this change on my personal growth. I spent much of my time looking for a place to live, as we were moving, packing, cleaning, and just trying to not drown in my life. I feel that mentorship within a sisterhood can help us navigate of this time in transition and rite of passage.

We all get it wrong before we get it right, to feel vulnerable is very unsettling. Once we transition to motherhood, we redefine ourselves. This whole undertaking is done with sleep deprivation, mental fog, hunger, exhaustion, emotions. A huge responsibility and we're forced to survive.

I forgot to be kind to myself, sometimes even angry. I would think things like, why bother showering when I won't leave the house? Why shave my legs when I don't feel sexy? I'll just wait for Whit to come home to bring dinner and not cook for myself. This went on for months. Some parts of me felt like I was unworthy, and for no real reason. Just an idea I wanted to believe, so I wouldn't have to be responsible for myself. I told myself this story.

I became an imposter. The amount of energy it took was everything I had that was left. You can't give long-term what you don't have. I am choosing to lead by example, getting back in the driver seat.

Sisterhood circles are to end the war of just surviving. We show our babies who we are when they see us connect with others. Your sisters are women that have gone before you, on their journey from motherhood and womanhood. We offer support, wisdom, and a safe place to just come and let your hair down.

xx.