Is brutal honesty best?

This is something I grew up thinking was best. I prided myself in being cold hard truth, after all, life is unfair, unjust, and gives no shits. But does that feel good? Is your message being heard?

 Define brutal:

~ Suitable to one who lacks intelligence, sensitivity, or compassion: befitting a brute: such as
          a: grossly ruthless or unfeeling  b: cruel, cold-blooded  c: harsh, severe  d: unpleasantly accurate and incisive  e: very bad or unpleasant

Define honest:

~ Fairness and straightforwardness of conduct:
          a: adherence to the facts : sincerity

My new idea

I find that when someone says 'brutally honest' you need to be prepared to have some shit thrown at you. When it's not necessary.

I don't know the point of honesty if it's not honest, but to give it more edge you need to be brutal. If it's brutal, is your message being conveyed?

I find that in life, you do you part, you can't make or do anything for the other person to be ready for what you're going to say, so just say it. Love the person you are sharing your thoughts, it doesn't mean to be mushy and sweet. Just love them. If they are ready, they will hear you.

I hear you. I see you. I love you.

xx

Work and life

Transition and walking through this journey is a day to day adventure.

 Before I got pregnant I had a different life, working full time, dragonboating, socializing, taking my dogs to the dog park, and watching tv.

 Then I got pregnant. Changing gears to no sports, going on medical leave, chilling with my pups, and still watching a lot of tv.

 Shoshanna arrives, and now walking into motherhood. For my pregnancy and birth I used a doula, without Beckie I could not have found my calling. She brought the best out of me.

 So I did doula training with a 4 week old baby, for 13 weeks, and here became the juggling act of baby, my own ambitions, work (at a new job), and life. I was really accustomed to driving all my undivided attention into one project, I can't do that anymore. I quickly realized that I need to assess my energy level and then plan for how I will spend it.

 It's not easy. Some days, I've got 4 burners going, but let's be honest, really only 1 is going, and the rest are simmering... At best...

 I still find myself struggling with assessing energy and where to spend it.

So what do I do?   Make a list, top 4 things I have to, then I pick top 2, and then which is either the most important, or fastest to complete.

 If you don't finish it, who cares? It'll be there later. You're one person, it's okay.

Worthwhile things are seldomly easy. Being anxious, worrying over small things, worrying about the future... These are all things out can't directly influence today.

I am learning and growing... Daily... Life is good.

Good talk. 

xx Erika

Not Today...

I just can’t.

Some days you wake up and the immediate reaction is “nope. not today.”

Waking up the next day after you baby is born, you may feel like a shock to your system. You know you’re suppose to feel all this love, bliss, glow, and be swelled with all this motherhood.

Back the bus up, that was just yesterday. Or maybe it was a week ago, a month ago, or even a year ago.

You’re not alone. I still wake up some days and think, “Can I take a raincheck?”

I LOVE Shoshanna, but man, all the things we fill on our plate. And sometimes there really isn’t even anything “big” going on, you’re just thinking NOPE, not today.

Well you have my permission, I’ll give you that raincheck. What is the WORST thing to happen today? I’m not saying throw in the towel, but yourself permission to say YES, not today.

You’re not alone.

xx Erika